Lent...

I'm not really a religious person...ok I'm not religious at all. However with yesterday being Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent it got me thinking.  Usually people give up vices at this time of year, but at the time I realized it was Lent, I had already cursed a blue streak and was drinking a large mug of coffee. So much for giving something up.
But, I remember a conversation I had a few months back regarding this and someone said that they have a friend who instead of giving up something, they spent 40 days trying new things.  I thought, you know, that's a good idea!  Since yesterday what have I tried?

Day 1: Blogging with only a photo as my inspiration (yes I realize this is a stretch, but it is something new!) 

A Redhead In Style

Day 2: Capers

So far so good... I'll be sure to keep you updated!

Change

I used to have this quote written on my mirror and I think it needs to go back up there.  

I've recently been stuck in a rut of negativity and excuses.  I've been a 'pity me,' 'my life sucks,' 'nothing is going to get better' kind of Jean lately and that Jean is no fun...I know first hand.  

I made a resolution this year that I would be aware of the good things in every day.  I bought this journal where I would write down at least 1 good thing that happened each day. I started it off with a bang but recently, when I started getting stuck in this rut each day it became a struggle to find something good.  I need to get back into the positive thinking.  As soon as things start to fall apart I start to fall apart with it.  Its not good.  

So I'm putting it out there.  I need to turn this around. Be thankful for what I already have and not bitter for what I don't have.  Things are not going to change if I don't change the negativity.  I need to get this through my head.   

Today, although its a bit chilly out, the sun is shining and London looks promising.  Its the start of a new week and that means I can start with a clean slate right?  As I said...I'm putting it out there.  Sad, lonely, self-deprecating Jean needs to jog-on and I need to find the girl who people like to have around.  It wont happen over night, but it will happen!

Wasted Talent

I'm an artist. I started dancing when I was five then traded in my ballet and jazz shoes for music books and singing lessons. I traded those for scripts, late nights rehearsals and line learning.  I went to university for theatre, then in my late 20's, early 30's I started taking more classes at an acting studio in New York.  I also wield a mean make-up brush and worked professionally as a make-up artist for some years. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm pretty good at both the acting thing and the make-up thing. But...all of my talent is going to waste.  I sit behind a desk 40 hours a week, answering calls and the only acting I do is pretending I work for the company I answer the phone for.  I keep asking myself "Who am I? What am I doing with my life?" I feel like I lost myself somewhere down the line and I'm not sure how to find my way back to myself.

I'll be honest, I'm not sure if I really want to pursue my acting any more. I don't really have the drive and ambition. Not to mention career-wise I like the stability of a getting paycheck every month. I want a career and I want creativity.  Is that too much to ask for?  I feel like it is.  I feel like I have turned down the wrong path somewhere.  I'm not saying its London at all. London is probably the best decision I have ever made. It has forced me to take responsibility for myself and my actions.  But right now I am struggling.  I'm an artist. I thrive on being creative and being around creativity.  My job doesn't allow me any of that. Its an office job, in the most boring office on the planet and it pays me peanuts so I can't go to the theatre or the cinema or exhibitions I would like to see.  I need that outlet and its been taken from me.

I need your help my dear friends.  Suggestions? Connections?  Can you help a girl out?

Remember Me

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Yes, again I've fallen off the blogging wagon.  I'm really wanting to get back on it, however I'm just not sure I live a life of much excitement.  I'm kind of lacking in what to post about.  However, lets play catch-up.  I know I blogged a bit about my Christmas and New Year but lets back track.

Lets start with October...at the end of October my friend Deb was in town to run the Bupa Great South Run with Tom and Michael. We took the train to Portsmouth early in the morning, they ran 10 miles and I stood on the side of the road cheering them on. I was so proud of the 3 of them to have not only finished the run, but all of them did it in amazing time.

Michael and Tom post run

The 3 runners on the beach in Portsmouth

At the beginning of November it was Guy Fawkes Night and we had a bit of a party.  Our last Guy Fawkes Night we had a group of people over, but this year our flat was FILLED with people. It was incredible that we could fit 30 people in the flat.  In typical fashion we had a lot of food and tons of good times...it even ended in a dance party!

Part of us in the park

Some of the others in the park

Firework cupcakes

Boom boom boom

Even brighter than the moon moon moon

Old roomies

Old and new

Dance party

Then Tom's birthday came along.  It was a fun night of friends, food, dancing and drinking.  

Look at that cake!

Happy Birthday

Classy act

In late November, I did yet another very British thing. I went to the Hennessy Gold Cup at Newbury Racecourse with Tom, Michael, Harry and Charlie.  I had been to the races only once before but that time I was out in a field with hundreds of other people.  This time I was in the premiere enclosure where I could see the excitement...and I even placed a bet. 

In the enclosure

Fun day at the races

Then came Christmas and New Year.  As I mentioned, I went to Cornwall over New Year and it was so much fun and very relaxing.  We went to The Eden Project on the first day and went ice skating.  The second day we were off to very quaint village called Polperro, then had an incredible team cooked meal that evening before heading into Looe for a fancy dress New Year. Our last day in the cottage was a lazy day where some of us went to the beach for a walk and later we watched films and ate.  It was such a wonderful mini holiday!

Look at those biodomes

They attacked me b/c I'm the best skater

Polperro

Polperro again

Fancy dress in Looe

Watching the fireworks!

There you have it...this is what I've been up to over the last few months.

2012!!!

Happy New Year!!!

Ok, so I didn't actually spend New Year's Eve in London and see the above spectacular, I was away for a few days on the Cornish coast in a village called Looe...I will write all about that later.
But for now, we are 4 days into 2012 and so far so good!!!
I really am looking forward to this year and I am compiling a resolutions list as we speak.

How was your New Year?

Merry (Belated) Christmas

Hi friends, I'm back!
Where have I been, well I've been around, I've just been busy.

Christmas was just the other day and it was my first Christmas not being home in Massachusetts.  This year, due to financial issues, I spent Christmas in London.  Before Tom left for home he and I had Christmas at the flat.  We made dinner and opened presents while listening to Michael Buble sing to us.  Tom really spoiled me which gifts but the piece de resistance was when I opened a book on Paris style and inside was a EuroStar voucher for me to go to Paris.  He knows I have been trying to go to Paris for over a year now but haven't been able to afford it and now he had made it possible! What an amazing flatmate!!!

For actual Christmas, my old NYC roommate, Caroline, came over on Christmas Eve and we spent the night eating, chatting and practically falling asleep on the sofa at 9:30pm...we're so rock and roll!
On Christmas day, we woke up, had a small breakfast and opened presents over coffee.  Caroline was very generous giving me a bunch of bits and bobs but one was my favourite lip balm ever...Fresh Sugar.  At 11am we headed to a friends place in Chelsea for pre-lunch drinks and for lunch we had a very British Christmas meal with goose, roasted veggies and stuffing with Christmas cake and brandy butter for pudding. After sufficiently stuffing ourselves we walked back to Battersea and called home to speak to our families.  We then spent the rest of the night curled up under blankets on the sofa watching Harry Potter.

Yesterday, Boxing Day, Caroline made a delicious french toast breakfast and we sat around in our pajamas for a while.  We decided to take a short walk in the park before she headed back to her flat and I spend the rest of the day just doing some housework and trying to finish the scarf I am knitting for Tom.

It was a very nontraditional Christmas this year, but it was nice.  Of course I missed being home and getting woken up super early by my nephews who are beside themselves with the excitement of Santa having come.  And I did miss the full Christmas dinner that we always have, but all in all it was a lovely Christmas and I'm happy to have spent it with friends.

On Thursday morning I am off for a few days as I am going to Cornwall for New Year with friends. We rented a cottage and I am really looking forward to a fun filled 4 days away.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and on that I will leave you with a photo of our tree. Her name is Sandra Sharon (don't ask about the 2 names) and she is beautiful!

Taking Life For Granted

I got some really sad news yesterday, a friend of mine from my days at the University of Hartford passed away suddenly.  Tara was such a beautiful and kind hearted person. She never had anything bad to say about someone, she always had a smile on her face and she was always upbeat and positive.  My heart aches for her, her husband, her family and her unborn baby boy. The world lost a good one yesterday!   

Tara was part of a very defining moment of my life.  She was one of the seven drama kids who came to London in the Summer of 1999 to study.  It was a life changing trip for me as I'm sure it was for the other six teenagers and early twentysomethings.  That trip was what made me want to move here.  My head has been spinning since I found out about her yesterday afternoon.  I keep replaying moments times we spent together and I can't believe she is gone.  Over the last 10 years she and I have only really chatted via facebook and the occasional email but I am absolutely devastated.  She was only 32, been married for a short amount of time, expecting her first baby in February and now she is gone. 

Tom met me after work and we sat in Pret talking and I had a million and one questions going through my head and none of them will ever be answered. And I keep trying to figure out what can be learned and taken from this? The only thing I've got is...tell your friends and family you love them every day, don't think about what you could be doing next year, next month or next week even, just live your life each day and think fondly of the people who've come into your life they all have something to teach you. 

Here are a few photos from my London trip in 1999...

RIP Tara. You will always be loved and never forgotten.

It's What Gets Me Through the Day

As you may have read yesterday, life behind my work desk isn't all that exciting.  However, there are some things that aren't so bad.  For instance, I get to blog while I am not doing anything at work. Or I can Google Chat with friends in the States. I can text my friends while at work. But one of the things that get me through my days at this desk...my friend Owen.  Ladies and gentlemen, by no means have I been bullied by Owen Thomas into writing this post. By no means has he sent me emails saying I "post mildly insulting comments(that’s right I took it personally)" I am writing this post dedicated to Owen solely on my own accord.  And why wouldn't now?  Owen passes me at my desk on his way to the shop and asks if I would like anything.  Now I don't want to take advantage of him, but he practically forces me to let him buy me coffee or chocolate.  Today, he popped to the shop and brought me back this...

Honestly, how good is he! 

Its these little things that get me through my day behind this desk.

Owen...this one is for you!
Oh, and I forgot to mention...I'm Owens pimp for the single ladies out there.

A Day in the Life

This is my daily view....

Actually this is my view for half the day. The other half of the day I am in the dungeon, its a room with one window that overlooks and alley and a building and I see the same 5-10 people over and over again.  That is the life of being a receptionist at my place of business.  Its pretty boring.  I answer calls, push a button to open the door and sit on Gmail, Facebook and Blogger all day long.  Sometimes I read, if I'm in the dungeon. 

This is probably the only thing that really sucks about London right now.  Yes, I am lucky to have a job and believe me I know, but some days it really puts a damper on my mood.  Ah, onwards and upwards right? I will eventually get that dream job that I'm always hoping for.  I know I will :) 

What I've Been Up To

I've been MIA again, I'm sorry. I haven't really been up to a hell of a lot, its just that I feel like I haven't done anything so exciting to post about. However, I have been playing with my camera quite a bit. I bought myself a beautiful Nikon D90 a few years back after seeing what my friend Barrie could do with it. I didn't quite play with it very much in the first year, but I have played with it over this past year.  I'm no pro, I'm very much a novice photographer, but I have been pretty pleased with someone of the photos I have taken with it.