ThanksGiving

Its Thanksgiving, in case you didn't already know, and although I am not sitting down with my family watching obscene amounts of football and eating even more obscene amounts of food, I still want to give thanks for all things I am thankful for. 

First and foremost I am thankful for my family. My mother is the most amazing person I know. She not only loves me unconditionally but she also supports me and hears me out on all the crazy ideas I have.  She listens to me talk for 2 hours straight and never acts like she is bored (even if she is.) She is a saint in my eyes and someone who I could never live without.  My sister Deirdre, she is my best friend and my worst enemy (only because we are so much alike.) She is my toughest on me only because she knows I can take it and she is only being tough because she wants me to be. She supports me in all my crazy decision making and although she will always give me her opinion, she knows that its my life and these are my decisons. She is my number 1 fan even though I drive her nuts.  My brother Eric, he is the best guy I know.  We may not always be in contact but I know that the moment I need him he will be there. He has always been the best brother in the world.  He may also be the most annoying brother in the world but its solely because he knows how to annoy me best.  My 3 nephews, Seamus...he is my 1st nephew and will always have a special place in my heart b/c of that. Seamus is EXACTLY like my brother and know exactly how to annoy me...however I am bigger than him and know just how to hand him.  Its almost like someone was smiling down on me when Seamus was born b/c since I was the youngest I suffered all the torture from my brother and now I get to do it all to Seamus :)  At only 7 years old he is almost as tall as me and much smarter than me.  And recently I just found out he likes to add dramatic effects to things...a boy after my own heart.  Braden, he is my buddy.  I feel like I practically raised Braden. I was with him almost every day for the first 3 and a half years of his life.  He can be an absolute brat (as any almost 7 year old can be) but he can also be such a wonderful kid.  He is so talented and skilled at so many sports...he cried because he didnt want to participate in a karate tournament and after a lot of persuasion he walked away from his division in first place and with a trophy almost as big as him.  Every day he impresses me and surprises me. And Cameron, my mini-me.  My sister's youngest is my child.  Not only did he look exactly like me as a baby but he also has my attitude.  He makes me laugh like noone else.  He took over my nickname of The Demon at a very early age and is living up to it wholeheartedly.  Cameron has a soft spot in my heart because he is the baby and can get left out of things. I knew that feeling all too well and will fight for this little guy because of it, although he can definitely hold his own.  I love these 3 children unlike anyone else in my life...no offense :) They are special boys who will always love me no matter what.  I also cant leave out my sister in law Nikkii and my brother in law Jim...though they are not blood they certainly are family. They are people who have made a huge impact on my life. Lastly, I am thankful for my dad. Although he is not here on this earth anymore it does not mean I am not thankful for him.  He has given my so much and has taught me so much.  I certainly wouldnt be here today without him.  He was the best dad a girl could as for. 

I am also very thankful for my friends.  I have to say, I have some of the most amazingly supportive friends and I couldnt be luckier.  For fear of leaving anyone out I dont want to go down the list of names...But over the years I have managed to make friends with some wonderful people. Some are friends who I have known since the age of 16 and have seen me at my best and at my worst. They have become more like family than friends because of all we have been through. Some of friends I met at the age of 18 completely at random because some computer automatically placed us in a dorm together or because we did a show or had a class together.  Some are friends I met in my 20's whether I met them at work or through friends or in a class.  Some are friends who I met when I moved to New York who were there for me at a time in my life where I experienced a huge amount of change after moving away from all that was old and familiar to something that was new and exciting but also scary.  And now some are new friends who I met here in London, people who have taken a chance on a small girl from "The Big Apple." 

All of these people have helped mold me into who I am today and without you all I wouldnt be here.  You all are my lifeline, my loves, my family.  For that I cannot tell you how thankful I am that each and every person I know is in my life. Today, and everyday I am thankful.

T is for Thankful

This upcoming Thursday is Thanksgiving and it will be the 1st Thanksgiving in my 32 years where I will not be with any of my family members. For that matter I wont be celebrating Thanksgiving at all...Im not going to lie, that makes me sad.  I know, I know, I live in a country where they don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. How can you not love a day where you sit and watch the Macy's Parade, hangout with your family, stuff yourself silly with some of the most delicious foods ever, take a nap and then eat again?  This Thanksgiving I will be sitting in the back office of my work (oh yeah, I got a job...I'll write about that another day) answering phones and probably watching television on BBC iplayer.

Now I am aware of this sounding like a pity party but it's a little weird for me.  If you know me, you will know that I am quite attached to my family...which may seem a little weird for me to say considering I moved 3300 miles away from them.  But it's weird b/c this is the longest Ive gone without seeing them...sort of.  My mom lived in Florida from 2000-2007 and I would probably see her 2 times a year but I spoke to her pretty much on a daily basis. But now that she has moved back to New England I would see her every other month or so.  I guess when it comes down to it, it's really the longest amount of time Ive spend away from my sister. (Hi Sissy!)  Its put me in a bit of a melancholy mood b/c I wont be home this year for Thanksgiving. Im sure people may be thinking Im acting a bit of a baby b/c of it, but my family and the holidays are important to me, especially since I'm the only one not married.  I depend on them to "take me in" on the holidays b/c if they don't Im spending them alone.

Ok, now I am really turning this into a pity party and I dont mean to. I guess what I am really just trying to get across is that I am bummed out that I wont be celebrating my favorite holiday and Im jealous of all those who get to. So as you cut into your turkey this Thursday have an extra slice of meat covered in gravy for me...and while your at it, can you add a bit of cranberry sauce, stuffing butternut squash and yams to that plate as well? Oh and dont forget about the pumpkin pie too! Thanks ;)

Toaster Madness

Last week was Tom's birthday and we went to his family house in the English countryside for his birthday dinner.  One of the gifts he received was a bright shiny new toaster. Once we got back to London we immediately made a clean new home for it and started toasting away.  Here are 2 videos from the experience we had. I hope you enjoy our silliness!






And just for good measure here is another ridiculous video we made that night.

Baby You're a Firework

Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament on 5 November 1605 and failed. To celebrate his failed attempt every year his effigy is burned on a bonfire usually accompanied by a fireworks display. Tom excitedly told me about Bonfire Night quite possibly in the first few days of me living in London so we decided to celebrate.  On 6 November we invited some friends to the flat for mulled cider and LOTS of cupcakes and then went across to Battersea Park for one of the best fireworks displays I have ever seen.

Before I tell you about the party and the fireworks I need to tell you about the preparation for the party.  Tom and I drove to ASDA (a supermarket chain owned by Wal-Mart) as we figured that it would be our best bet for all our party needs.  Let me tell you, ASDA in Clapham Juntion is not the place to be on a Saturday afternoon...is any super store really where you want to be on a Saturday afternoon? We gathered all the supplies we needed there, then hit Whole Foods for some pumpkin puree (for some yummy pumpkin cupcakes and a soon to be cooked pumpkin pie!) and went to the party store for decorations.  Once returning back to the flat (with a million bags in hand) we began baking. I have to hand it to Tom, the boy mixed every little bit by hand!  We had quite the system going on, I measure the ingredients as well as read the directions and he mixed, poured and put in the oven, once of of the oven I put on the icing. We made chocolate cupcakes, pumpkin cupcakes and brownies.  At one point Tom said, as he was cleaning up powdered icing sugar, that he felt like the police were coming up in the lift to bust us for a drug ring we were running.  We managed to get everything sorted and decorated before the first guests arrived. Luckily enough, the first guests to arrive were my friends b/c I was still in my robe and sweat pants due to rushing to get everything ready ontime :)

Now it was party time, we had all guests accounted for, the cider was flowing and the food was being eaten. it was time to head to Battersea Park!  It cost £6 to get into the fireworks which struck me a little odd at first as any fireworks I have gone to are usually free.  Well, when I saw the display I understood why they chared for entry, the display was spectacular!  It was all choreographed to music and reminded me of the Bellagio Fountains in Las Vegas in that aspect and it lasted for about 15 minutes. At one point I think I was literally standing there with my mouth wide open in awe. Everyone was singing and dancing to the music and truly enjoying the show.  I couldnt tell you how disappointed I was when it ended as I could have sat there for hours watching it.  Later, after the fireworks, a group of us walked back to our flat for more cider and cupcakes...I can't think of a better way to end the night, with good company and good food!

"Boom boom boom, even brighter than the moon, moon, moon"

Caroline and me pre-fireworks

Ina and me as some rockets are "red glaring"

Our group enjoying some sparklers

The Host and Hostess with the Most and Mostest

Run Forrest Run

I have to say, I have been the worst at blogging lately. However I am going to try my damnest this month to make up for October's lack of posting.  But in true Jean fashion of being up to date on things,  I am going to write about something that happened in October...I ran a 5K, an no, I was not being chased!  Well that's actually a lie b/c Tom was chasing me for a short period during my run.  About 2 months ago I signed up to run this 5K called The Halloween Howler.  It was a "Fun Run" taking place in Battersea Park, but if you ask me, there is nothing "fun" about running. I claim I signed up for it a moment of hysteria when I was stressed on my first day at a temp job. The thought I had in my head after I calmed down was that I could always not do it.  It was about a month before the run and I thought that was a good amount of time to train, but I was tired from temping and then I had a friend visit and time escaped me. Two weeks before the run was the first time I put in my sneakers trainers and hit the pavement.  I made it about half way around the 1st loop (in the run we had to run 2 loops in the park) and walked the remainder of the loop. I was proud of myself for even getting that far. I am the girl who in all the years of school we had to run the dreaded mile, I would either fake an asthma attack, (I dont have asthma) lie and say I was 1 lap ahead of where I really was, or not dress for class that day and then when I was supposed to make it up say I already did it.  I ran every day for a week in training for this 5K, took Sunday off and then started again on Monday.  I ran 2 days the 2nd week and began to tell myself I wasn't going to do it.  Well, Tom was not having my excuses AT ALL and kept telling me that I was not going to quit. Even up until the night before the event I was still saying that I wasnt going to do it, but I dont like to be a quitter so I did what my father would tell me to do..."suck it up and deal."

So there I was at 6:30pm with a hundred or so other runners all dressed up (I didn't not partake in the fancy dress) and "ready" to run. Tom met me at the start and pretty much ran with me along the way.  He was my saving grace in this run, every time I would stop to walk (yes, I did walk some) he would give me a point as to where I would start running again..."Ok Jean, at the next lamp post you are going to start running. or At that sign up there start running again." He was high fiving me after every K marker, at one point he was literally pushing me along the path. He was excellent moral support!  I ran across the finish line at just seconds past the 40 minute mark very proud of myself and quite tired (and beet red) as well.  After all the bitching and moaning about this run I successfully completed it!  I hope to keep running, although with the weather getting so cold now and it being dark so early its a little unmotivating. I have no plans to sign up for another run yet, but stay tuned, you never know...I surprise myself daily!

Nothing New

Again I have been lacking at keeping up to date with what's been going on with me, but to be honest, not a whole heck of a lot has. I find that I have been lacking a lot recently...lacking motivation, inspiration, passion. Worry not my fellow friends, I am not depressed, I am just stuck in a rut. I've been asking myself a lot of questions recently, but have not really been able to answer very many of them...if any at all.  The biggest one may be, what am I doing with my life? I don't know if it's b/c I have uprooted myself from everything I know and am comfortable with or if it's because I am 32 and don't really have a clear path set out for what I want to be when I grow up. I've always been the kind of person who "did" without thinking about it first. I don't mean I don't think the important decisions out, I mean that when I get an idea in my head that excites me I want to do it and do it now!  For example, when I decided to move to New York I had 2 options on my plate that I was looking at...go back to school and get my Masters in Theatre Education OR move to New York and see where life takes me. Both were going to cost quite a bit of money and effort but I chose the one more exciting to me. I didn't want to go back to taking tests and having homework or writing papers, I wanted something excitingly new.  I already knew what school was like and we didn't always get along so well.

After a while in New York I decided to see if Frank Sinatra was right when saying "If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere..." and decided to make the move here.  Well, here I am. After a year of thinking about it, a year of searching for flats, searching for flatmates, searching for cheap airline tickets...I made it to London. So now what? I think this is where I go wrong, I don't think it completely through. I make it to the destination spot and then I am stuck.  Now I want you to all know that this is not me telling you all I made the wrong decision. This is not a cry for help. I couldn't feel more right about being here, but now I need to figure out what I am doing here. I've been looking for work for the last 2.5 months and it hasn't really panned out yet, and at the same time I am not sure what kind of work I want to do. I can tell you the kind of work I don't want to do though...

When I first moved to New York it took me about 9 months to a year to really feel like I had gotten my bearings. I no longer felt like I was trying to "figure things out" not that I figured everything out, but that I felt like I was doing something right. I think my problem is that maybe I thought that since I figured it out in New York, London was going to be a breeze. I arrive and it's all sorted out for me. But it's not. Its just like when I moved to New York, I need a settling period. I don't need to have it all figured out after only 3 months!  I'm stuck in the mindset that I am 32 and should have my life figured out, but I don't and begin to panic. I begin to think I am a failure. I begin to think that I suck at life. But I need to pull my self out of that mindset and let things happen...better yet, make things happen. I don't need to be all figured out at 32, I'm still young. At least I think I am!

Sometimes I fear that people are judging me for the decisions I have made, but they are my decisions to be made. I am the one who is going to either thrive on it and make a success of myself or I am going to fall on my face, pick myself back up, brush myself off and try something else. Life is too short to worry so much about what everyone is thinking or to worry too much about what I am doing. Someone I know once told me, "I go to bed every night thinking, today was a good day. And I wake up in the morning and think today is going to be better than yesterday." I can only strive to be that positive. But it's worth trying. Anything positive is worth trying.

*To my friends and family...Please don't be worried about me. I am not losing it. You know I would call you crying if I was miserably unhappy. I am not, I'm just figuring life out.*  

Putting On My Phone Voice

Good morning, HIT Entertainment...
Good afternoon, Hit Entertainment...oh Im sorry they are away from their desk at the moment, would you like to go through to their voicemail?
Please hold.

This is what I utter all day for 8 hours a day whilst I am at this job. I have been a receptionist before, I did it for 2 years and I've forgotten how dull it is. Its even more so when you don't really know anyone you work with. On top of it being dull I sometimes need to ask the people on the other end of the line to repeat themselves b/c I dont understand who they are asking for or where they are calling from. I must sound like a total ass.  My favorite is I literally have to think about where I am before I say hello. I don't really know what I am thinking about when I actually answer the phone...thats a lie, I am thinking, is it 6pm yet? But I put on my "professional" voice and I answer that phone!  Also, you should hear the people hesitate when they hear an American on the other end of the line. You know they are saying, "shit did I call the wrong number!" No, no you did not!

I know some of you have had the pleasure of listening to my "phone voice" at all the millions of places I've worked.  There was the one where my father never knew it was me on the other end...I was that good!"Good Afternoon, Titan Outdoor" or  "CHD, this is Jean, how can I help you?" And then there is Barrie's favorite "Its a great day at Aveda, South Shore Plaza. This is Jean, how can I help you?" I couldn't even get half way through that one before she would burst into a fit of laughter.  So...here I am again, professionally answering a phone for another week.  When do I get to be a burlesque dancer...(see here)

God I need to figure out what I am doing with my life :)

I Am The Worst

Jesus, I haven't blogged in ages...sorry for that, but I am sure you are not morning my loss :)  Sadly I can't say I have been up to too much lately. I have been job hunting like it's my...well job.  To no avail has anything come up other than some temp work. Right now I am temping as the receptionist at Hit Entertainment and have been surrounded by Thomas the Train and Bob the Builder as this is what the company produces.  Its really cute.  However, I damn near had a nervous breakdown on the 1st day alone b/c I am learning a phone system full of people who dont all have faces either.  I am pretty sure in the 1st half hour of this job I dropped at least 5 calls. Luckily I was talked down off the ledge by a few friends and feel a little less helpless and kind of am falling into a groove.  Of course I still worry about people coming in thinking I am an idiot b/c I am figuring it out. I will be here for 2 weeks...as long as they don't kick me out for being incompetent.

Last weekend I went back to the countryside with Tom to see a county show called Newbury Show, which was a lot of livestock showings and tons of tents set up to shop for food, clothing, shoes...you name it. It somewhat reminded me of going to the 4H aread of the Marshfield Fair but on a MUCH grander scale.  We also saw a really contemporized (is that a word) version of Twelfth Night that was really interesting.  It was done with really not set or props. They did use the text but it was abridged quite a bit, music was added to it and there were only 8 actors.  I enjoyed it, I might not have had so much of an appreciation of it if I hadn't been give a heads up on how this production was done.  Sometimes when you think your seeing a show that is done in a traditional setting and its not done that way it can throw you. All is all it was great.  I also really enjoy going home with Tom b/c I can really enjoy my gluttonous side. Tom's mother really does treat me and my stomach very well!

Other than that, I haven't really had much to much else happening.  I booked my tickets home for Christmas, I will be arriving on 20 December at 1pm and I leave on 27 December at 9am. I know its not a long period of time b/c I want to spend New Years here in London and I couldn't really book for an earlier time b/c I dont know if and where I will be working and dont want to abuse my time off.  I#m trying to think if I have anything else exciting happening...oh yeah! I signed up to run a 5K next month. I think I am crazy  for doing it but it should be interesting. It will also be a great challenge, now I need to get my ass training!

Thanks all folks! Sorry I've been so MIA. I hope to have more to tell you about.

New Places, New Hair, New Friends

It's been a while since I've last updated you on my life...what can I say, it's been a busy week!  Where do I begin, I'm still on the job hunt, which leaves my moods up and down.  Sometimes I am really confident that I will get something really soon and other times I just feel defeated.  However, I am trying to pull myself out of the job rut and have a better outlook on what is to come.

This past weekend was a bank holiday weekend and Tom invited me to come to his family's house in the English Countryside.  I can't even begin to describe how beautiful and movie-like his home is.  The house was this gorgeous countryhouse that I was sure I was going to get lost in with all the rooms, doors and staircases.  There was a garden and lots of farmland, a horse, sheep, 2 wonderful dogs, a pool...it was absolutely amazing!  We saw a show, "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow, at this fabulous theatre called The Watermill the first night we got there. The second day Tom showed me around the town of Hungerford, which was adorable and so quaint, full of antique shops and little boutique stores.  I could definitely see myself living there in the later years. We had lunch with his mom, 2 friends he grew up with and one of his mothers friends and then after lunch headed off to a town carnival.  It was a really small provincial town where not much goes on and the carnival was a parade with 5 floats and then a fun fair.  We tore that fun fair up!  Tom, Michael, Bex and I played games, drove bumper cars and the octopus.  We also played in the nearby playground, which I have to say was way cooler than most playgrounds I've been to...there was a trampoline-y kind of thing!  Our last day there pretty much consisted of puttering around.  Bex, Tom and I played croquet, which I am terrible at, and tennis, which I am also terrible at. Then Tom took a swim while I relaxed in the sun. Later Michael came and Tom, Michael and I took the dogs for a walk around the farm and in the woods.  I later watched the boys play croquet...I didn't want to show off my skills anymore.  We had a late dinner before heading back to London after an amazing weekend.  I have to say though, country living certainly isn't for the faint of heart.  Within being there for a hour one of the dogs came around the corner with a dead rabbit in her mouth, then on the walks the other dog found a multitude of animal carcasses. The 1st night I went to be and there were a ton of months flying around my room which freaked me out a little and Tom told me "its an old house, just roll with it." Oh...and then there was the fish gutting.  Dinner the last night was fish, that when Tom took it out of the fridge it was still bleeding and staring at me. Tom took that fish into the house and gutted that bad boy right in front of me...I was scarred, but I ate the fish and it was good! All in all it was a good weekend!

What I did instead of croquet

Then after the weekend I decided that my hair needed a change. The strawberry blond wasn't doing it for me anymore and I wanted my red hair back.  So with the number and recommendation of a salon in London by the lovely Laetitia I headed up to Wedge get my hair did!  I love it.  It's still very red, but I am enjoying it!

Lastly, yesterday I met up with Naomi who is finally back from her 2 months in Wisconsin.  Naomi and I have been meaning to meet up for quite some time since the Spring, but it has not been able to happen...until yesterday!  She introduced me to this really cute vegetarian cafe but more importantly she introduced me to Scoop where we indulged in some of the most delicious gelato ever!  I had a scoop of the caramel and a scoop of the milk chocolate.  Nom nom nom!  We ate our gelato, walked around St. James Park and watched the pelicans.  Naomi is also unemployed so we wallowed in our "unemploymentness" together.  It was a nice day out in the nice weather.

So that's what I've been up to recently...

Tassels, Feather and Balloons...Oh My!

bur·lesque  (br-lsk) n. A variety show characterized by broad ribald comedy, dancing, and striptease.


Tom has a friend who is a burlesque dancer, they went to university together where she studied law. Flash forward a few years to today where she is now the producer and headliner of her own show.  Her name is Agent Lynch and her game "burlesque bombshell and pinup and all around 60's aficionado" and she is pretty fucking cool if you ask me!  It got me thinking, could I become a burlesque dancer?  I mean essentially it's just like acting, but I would be dancing and taking my clothes off...but I wouldn't have to get naked.  I mean, I've done scenes in acting class where I have been wearing a lot less than what these women were wearing.  It's not stripping and I wouldn't have men trying to shove money into a g-string (although at this point that doesn't sound so bad...anything for money right? I kid!  As I said my mom reads this!) But really, this burlesque thing is art and it looks pretty fun too.  


Ok, maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself b/c I can't just jump up on a stage and make money (see above) I would need some training and a gimick...but I'm creative and know how to move. And I'm sure I can be sexy... noone would know about the cackling laugh and tendency to make an ass of myself when I'm performing.  I would get to be someone else and have fun while doing it...and maybe make some money! I definitely can't hurt to look into it.  Agent Lynch does teach a class, I'm good at taking classes.  


Now at this point, I have all of my family and friends back in the states ready to buy me a plane ticket and ship all my stuff back home b/c I am thinking about "shaking my tassels" but don't worry, it may only be a fleeting thought. However I highly recommend you check out some burlesque, its kind of awesome!  Look at Dita von Teese, she is unconventionally gorgeous, makes lots of money and basically only wears pasties and frilly knickers :) 

Have I mentioned how badly I need to get a job, this is what happens when you go and see an amazingly fun show and then sit at home being rejected by companies looking for someone to fill a position that I am over qualified for...I'm thinking about investing in fishnet thigh highs, nipple tassles and frilly knickers.  It could be worse right...I could be thinking about escorting. Hi Mom!