Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I Have a Confession

I started another blog. This blog I will still remain tried and true to as this has one purpose, but I have started a sort of style blog.  Its a little bit fashion, a little bit makeup, a little bit hair...its a little bit of everthing but its mostly me.  I thought I would try writing about things that I a bit about.  If you care to, please check it out! 
Its called (drumroll please)...

A Redhead in Style

I hope you might want to follow along with that too :)

Friday, June 17, 2011

A Birthday Letter to My Dad

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today would have been your 67th birthday and if you were still around to celebrate it, I have no doubt in my mind I would be calling you right about now to wish you a happy one and to tell you how I wish I was in Weymouth to celebrate with you.  Sadly you are not here to celebrate it, but I know I can still wish you the best!  I guess the one positive thing about you not being around to celebrate is that is saves me the hassle of buying you a gift that you would later have me return as you have no use for it...you were always good like that :)  In all honesty though, I would give anything to be able to deal with that frustration again. 

This month and next month are particularly hard given that your birthday and Fathers Day always fall in the same week and next month is the anniversary of your death.  Of course I think about you every day and wish you were still around, but June and July I especially miss you.  Well and at Christmas too because you always bought me awesome Christmas presents and you know I love presents! I try to look at those times with a smile because I know you are still with me every day, but sometimes it's a littler hard to put on that smile.  Like right now, where I am embarrassingly tearing up at work while I write this, but you know, it happens. 

However, since it is your birthday I still want to give you a gift. Its a gift that I think you will like too...its for you to know that I am doing OK.  I'm actually better than OK.  Each day brings forth a new challenge or gift and those things are what make me who I am and who you and Mom have raised me to be.  Living in London is amazing and I couldn't be happier. I know that it would have been hard for you to see me go, as you were showing that when I decided to move to NYC.  However, it really was a great choice for me.  You know I've always wanted to come here and I finally made it, I probably wouldn't have made it if not for you.  But Daddy, I'm happy here and feel like things are only going to get better!  I'm figuring things out on my own, something Ive never really done...and I'm doing it!  So my gift to you is that I am good :) Is that a really selfish gift?

With all that being said...I want to say I love you so much, I miss you so much and I wish you the Happiest 67th Birthday!!!


Monday, June 13, 2011

Oh So Very

Wow twice in one day...yes I am feeling ok! 

Fellow blogger friends, I have entered into this competition to win what would be the most amazing job at Very.co.uk and I am enlisting you to help me out!!!  If you happen to read my post about looking for a new job you will understand how much this means to me. The competition is based on votes as well as selection and it would be great if you could vote for me!!! Just click on the link, like the page and vote for me.  I dont really ever do this, but I would love to win this job. Its perfect for me and I would get to work with my friend Cate which is an added bonus!  So please please please...I'm begging (I know it isnt pretty) vote for me!

Vote For Me Here!!!

Search for Jean and you will find me....

Thank you!!!!

ps~ I know this is a very link heavy post :)

I'm No Forrest Gump

Remember when I wrote that I signed up for a 10K (if you don't you can look here and see) well that 10K is in less than a month and I am nowhere near ready for it.  I have gone back and forth about where I should just throw in the towel...but as I have proven time and again to myself, I don't like to quit things. So, I am not quitting this.  I can't believe that I am going to still do this.  I need to finish in 2 hours, I think I can do that. I mean I am averaging about 30-35 minutes for a 5K and thats with walking so I should be able to do this, right?!

Guys, I am going to admit this to you...I hate running. I have tried and tried to like it but everything about it I hate.  I never have that "in the zone" feeling people talk about. I dont feel like I am clearing my head ever either.  All I do is go out running and curse it! And you know what the weirdest thing is, I'll go out running and even if I have a "good run" or a bad one, I end up in tears b/c I am bad at it.  What is wrong with me? Why I am crying about running?  Its really annoying.  I want to like it and I want to be good at it, but I don't like it and I am bad at it.  Its a no win situation.  I might give it up after this 10K to be honest.  I just feel like I am never going to get better. 

I really wish I had a running buddy, it would make it so much better.  I know I cant depend on having someone with me but the few times I have gone out running with someone I dont end up cursing it all that much.  And the person I am running with is usually a great source of motivation for me too.  It really helps me.  BUT as I said, I can't depend on having someone there with me.  I need some advice from my running friends out there...can you recommend anything? 

Now, with that being said, this 10K that I am doing, it't for charity.  I am running for a charity called Counsel + Care. I don't like asking people for money, but it really is for a good cause! If you can, even its its a few dollars/pounds/euros/yen...it would mean a lot to me.  Here is the link to my page to donate ...Virgin Money Giving

Thank you!!!


Friday, June 3, 2011

Stuck In A Rut

Im currently in the market for a new job and I have been in this market for about 6 months now.  I have been looking and applying and looking and applying for job after job after job honestly all for what?  I know what you're saying, "be glad you have a job in this economy" and I am because low pay is better than no pay.  But I have to be honest...I am struggling. Not only am I struggling financially but I'm also struggling with losing my mind and my pride.  I've been in a low paying job since the end of November and I was really happy to get out of the flat and off my lazy ass and start working. However now I am working hard just to keep my head above water. Im in a job that is serverely pulling me under and Im not just talking about because of the money. I am literally sitting on my ass all day long maybe answering a phone call every 10 minutes or so. I might occassionally shoot off a random email or make a photocopy of something, but I just sit here. There is only so many times I can check my Facebok, read the news and post on Twitter. I am so much better than what I am doing! For the first time in my life I have actually been trying to find work in a field that I find interesting, I enjoy going to and want to make a career out of.  I have worked in jobs that have literally but just that...jobs. I was never interested in a career and now I am!

So day after day I apply for jobs. Most of which I am qualified for and some of which I am not but its wishful thinking and you never know, someone might want to take a chance on me.  But I have beed finding that noone wants to take a chance on me...no one wants to even take a chance on me in a position that I can do, have done, am more than qualified for.  How is someone supposed to get a job then?  I cannot begin to tell you how soul destroying it is to day in and day out get emails telling me that I am not qualified or I dont have the specifications that the client it looking for, especially when the job description breaks it down and clearly states what they are looking for and my resume cv shows I have done it all before.  Are you kidding me?!  In the past week I have applied for 20+ jobs and heard back from one about a possible interview, I was told I would hear back later in the afternoon and nothing...I emailed the woman as a follow up and again, nothing. All the others have been rejection emails. 

Today I told my boss that I either need a pay increase (which they have not given in 2 years) or I need to start looking for another job.  All the while, I feel like here I am looking for a something else and failing miserably and Im not going to even get a pay increase from the stingy fuckers at work.  Im so fed up.  Im this close to either selling my soul for a better job or selling my organs for more money. Im not quite sure which is a better option....

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Just A Thought

Yesterday I was looking at the calendar commenting on how its already June and it dawned on me that one year ago (31 May, remember I said yesterday) was when I walked into a flat in Battersea and was met by  "the most beautiful man I've ever seen" (that was a direct quote when I met back up with my friends that evening) The flat I walked into has been my home for the last 11 months and  man is obviously my wonderful flatmate Tom!!!  Yay for finding a great place to live in London and a finding a dear friend!

Im not wrong now, am I?